Jane of all Trades...mistress of a few

I'm sorry I've been MIA. Even I'm sick of the "I'm getting married and I'm swamped" excuse. Seriously I don't have any other excuse. I've been working insane hours at work and the second job of wedding planning (in 3 weeks for 250 people) is keeping me on my toes. Things are well, they are just incredibly hectic and I'm looking forward to some normalcy after the wedding. I have all these art events that have piled up that I'm dying to attend.

Anyway today my girlfriends threw me an absolutely fantastic bridal shower and it was just lovely. Everything from the hard work towards preparation that Jigna, Ekta and Charchita put together to all the friends that traveled from far and wide and away from their babies to all the aunties that came to support me, today was one of the highlights of this year. I got all kinds of fun and wonderful presents, tons of things from my registry, lots of lingerie, a gorgeous diamond bracelet from my mother in law, even a naughty book and body products and above all words of wisdom and warmth of friends. Nothing beats that.

I missed my mother and I kept feeling like she was with me. I wore the diamond earrings she bought me last year. I had never worn them before. I was saving them for a special occassion. When she was here in the summer I remember her saying "What are you waiting for, wear them" and I said they were too much for the occassion we were going out for and I didn't. Today when I was getting dressed I heard her say it to me again so instead of wearing the dress I originally planned I went with a different one, one that would make the earrings stand out more.

Some highlights below.

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Tuesday, September 25

India in a Park

by SupaRupa on Tue 25 Sep 2007 07:31 AM EDT

OK I'm stopping in for all of 10 minutes (between holding down my job while planning for W-Day around the corner...26 days gooddamnit) but had to put this up because it's absolutely fun. If you are in midtown Manhattan stop by!

Incredible India@60!

TODAY Tuesday, September 25

12:00pm – 9:00pm

Fountain Terrace

Display and demonstration of Indian handicrafts and handlooms, folk dances, Bollywood live, fashion shows, fusion music and more. Free and open to the public.

12:00pm – 8:30pm
Display and demonstration of Indian handicrafts and handlooms

12:00pm – 12:30pm - Folk Dances & Music
Kathakali, Mohiniyattom, Theyyam, Sanskrit Shloka chanting, Thiruvathira and Keralanatanam (Kerala)

12:30pm – 1:00pm - Bollywood Live
Contemporary dances from Indian Films

1:00pm – 1:30pm - Folk Dances & Music
Garbo (Gujatat), Raibense (Bengal), Hudo (Gujarat), Sammi (Punjab) and Pung Cholam (Manipur)

1:30pm – 2:00pm - Bollywood Live
Contemporary dances from Indian Films

4:00pm – 5:00pm - Folk Dances & Music
Sammi (Punjab), Dangi (Gujarat), Gidda (Punjab), Holipala (Manipur ) and Dandia Raas (Gujarat)

5:00pm – 5:30pm - Bollywood Live
Contemporary dances from Indian Films

5:45pm – 7:15pm - Fusion Band
Colonial Cousins

7:30pm – 8:00pm - Fashion Show
Wendell Rodericks

8:00pm – 8:30pm - Folk Dances & Music
Yakshagana (Karnataka), Gidda (Punjab) and Bhangra (Punjab)

8:30pm – 9:00pm - Fashion Show
Ritu Kumar

For more information, please visit their website.

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Tuesday, September 11

Lots of catching up

by SupaRupa on Tue 11 Sep 2007 11:49 PM EDT

Today was September 11th and unlike that fateful day and unlike previous years the skys were gloomy and it rained most of the day. It helped to not have that gorgeous day we had in 2001. It was however the first time a Tuesday yet again like that day. Things were somber at work. I woke up thinking about mom. She was with me when it happened and I was so grateful to have her here. I wish she was here today.

Nights are still tough. I cry everyday. I just can't shake that empty feeling of not being able to pick up the phone and call my mom. But for the most part I'm OK most of the day. If someone asks me about her I choke up but I try not to think about it but I hear her when I'm alone, mostly in my head and I know it's my own mind. But she talks to me all the time and I've been having dreams about memories long forgotten about mom, some of them from when I was 5 years old. It hurts so hard in my heart but I know my mother is in a better place.

It's been an insane few weeks. Himanshu and I went to a big fat Greek Wedding and it was really neat. His coworker got married and the wedding was almost like an Indian wedding. People throwing money everywhere, holding hands and dancing around in circles. It was cute.

I had an incredibly relaxing and lovely weekend away from people and the world two weekends ago. I really needed it. It helped me energize and focus on myself and having Himanshu along was just the icing on the cake. We even met up with Rahul during different vineyard runs and had some incredible foods. We went to this great place called The Frisky Oyster in Greenport and my food snob just loved that place. I definitely recommend it. Our B&B turned out to be divine and our hosts were absolutely wonderful and graceful and the daily breakfast buffets were to die for. The weather was just absolutely gorgeous and I felt one with nature. I almost "touched" a deer that's how close I got to it. I thought I was such a stealth bomber but then the damn thing realized I was creeping up on him and he ran off.

We came back and sat with the parents and came up with a modified wedding date. I'm now getting married in 40 days on October 21st. Why? Why not? Everything has been fast forward with us so far so why put off the wedding. It just didn't make sense getting married in India now that mom isn't there. My inlaws have been incredibly helpful and supportive but going wedding shopping and running errands to get things done is rough. I can't even begin to express what it feels like. I broke down and cried when I was going over my Mandap arrangements. I wished so bad mom was here to give me her opinion.

I bought my sari and when I saw it I felt like mom calling out to me. It's not something I would pick, it's elegant and fairly simple but it's something my mother would have picked because it's very traditional. I struggle everyday but I'm also making incredible progress with the wedding planning. I'm insanely organized and I've had so much help from the girls and Himanshu's cousin. The Bridal Shower is on the 30th of September. Mehndi on the 19th, Haldi and puja on the 20th and the wedding on the 21st. I don't want to eat cake and I certainly don't want to dance so we are having a morning ceremony followed by lunch. Sometime in the spring of 2008 we'll plan a bigger party...when I'm in a better state of mind.

For now I take it one day at a time. I have incredible moments of feeling overwhelmed not because I can't do something but because I struggle to control my emotions in public. Sometimes I just cry. Whatever. If people are bothered by it fuck them. Sometimes they also forget my mom just died. I couldn't express to anyone in words what that feels like. Unless you've lost a mom so young like I did you wouldn't understand. It feels like a hole in my heart that just doesn't get filled. I miss her so much.

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