My wedding plans aren't going to happen. My mom has been severely ill and continues to be in the ICU. She passed the 1 month mark this weekend in the ICU and while I realize it's a really superficial thing it makes me sad that I won't be having a wedding.

We are considering going to City Hall right before we head to India and use the trip to visit with family, travel and shop and maybe just maybe I can have something of a celebration in Spring of next year. 

In the meantime it's amazing how every day there is a reminder for me that of all things that could possibly not be right in this world, I found perfection in a relationship with a man who is perfect in my heart. He continues to surprise me and leave me wonderous and grateful everyday.

I've been going to a lot of weddings lately and I must admit I always feel torn inside, being at these beautiful happy weddings and knowing I may not have one. I realize it's just one day of your life and I wasn't looking for perfection or even something big. I just wanted something meaningful I can look back and remember upon.

In the meantime I look at our engagement party pictures all the time. They remind me of all things, how much love I've had around me. How incredibly supportive his family has been about my mom's illness and all the love that surrounds me. People came from near and far, 70 of them. Some thought it was a mini wedding. I stayed up many nights, for weeks trying to pull off the perfect party and while nothing is perfect I came pretty close.

I've been asked by quite a few of you to share pictures but what I would like to share are some of the ideas that came to life for the engagement party and those are worth sharing. If you are a girl on a budget like me and want to tap into your creative side this post is for you.

My mom bought my sari quite early on and I knew it was Orange and Pink so I modeled the party after those colors. I wanted it to be an inclusive day. I used to be the girl that didn't want kids at my wedding. Perhaps I still won't, unless of course they are my family.  But I wanted the day to make everyone feel like they were part of it. Having my friends there and my family meant so much to me. It was very emotional and I had moments of tears thru the evening. People came as far as California, Pennsylvania, Massachusettes and there were surprise visitors and dance performances.

The evening was a party for us because Himanshu had proposed to me on the 12th of June and I'd said yes so the 30th of June was a party. I considered the 12th as my engagement day. For our parents and family the party was however our Engagement day. That is how it is in Maharashtrian culture.

In our culture an engagement is called the Sakharpuda. Sakharpuda literally translates to "a packet of sugar" and in olden times the prospective bride and groom exchanged a packet of sweets in front of their family with the promise that they would marry in the near future. Our "packet of sugar" was beautiful personalized 'His and Hers' barfi made by Himanshu's cousin Gauritai. Each one was a different flavor and had our name on it. And we exchanged that. It was the first tear inducing moment of the day for me.

I put a lot of personal touches in the day. I bought the decor over the net and from Job Lot. I also got a lot of the personalized stuff done on the web. We had pails of water with floating candles, orange and pink flowers and lemons and limes all around the garden. The flowers signified our colors and the flowers in my hair and the lemons and limes were for Himanshu. A little fact not a lot of people know. He's addicted to lemons/limes and puts the juice on EVERYTHING.

I made gift bags for all the kids, green for the boys, pink for the girls, they were personalized according to age. The older girls got Indian emboridered with mirrors shoulder bags along with shampoos and lipgloss. The kids got a bunch of things in their bags, bubbles, skip roap, frisbees, Spiderman sunglasses, coloring books etc. The littlest kids got teddy bears and other assorted blow up toys.

I also got gifts for all the immediate family members. For the ladies at the party they all got gift bags that consisted of bindis, a jeweled box, bangles, a sweet called "peda", persoanlized tea, a Save the Date magnet etc. There were seperate gift bags for the widows, it would have been insensitive to offer them bindis and bangles. I got a lot of stuff from India and bought some things here.

It was held in Himanshu's parents backyard which is a Japanese garden and they did just an absolutely fantastic job with the set up.

1. The cake was from Whole Foods and they were wonderful about incorporating the design from our Save the Date Magnets onto the cake. It was half chocolate for Himanshu and half strawberry shortcake for me. 

2. The food was from Rasraj on Broadway in Hicksville NY. 516-433-7495

3. The gift bags like the small chiffon bags as well as all the hanging Chinese lantern decor was from Oriental Trading.

4. Candle Holders all around the garden, 40 of them, were actually big glass tumblers super cheap from Job Lot which is a closeout/clearance store in NYC. Candles were on sale from Pier 1. If you are going to host an outdoor party I highly recommend only using votive size candles in very large containers because the wind will blow out bigger candles and the smaller ones will go well past 4 hours. Citronella candles were bought on sale at Walmart in buckets.

5. My mehndi/henna was done by Priya Kale 646-250-1058.

6. All the kids toys were from $.99 cent stores.

7. My Save the Date Magnet was from Vistaprint. All my persoanlized stationary, labels etc were from My Wedding Labels.

8. We had our guests sign a picture mat for us. It was $22 @ Target for a 5 X 7 picture.

Last but not least, everyone should be lucky like me to have a friend who offers to take over 500 pictures for free! My friend Manish proved to not just be invaluable but absolutely fantastic. Without him I would never have the lasting memories of these pictures. That I may not have a wedding makes these pictures even more special and both Himanshu and I were so grateful that he came thru for me at the last minute with such professional grace.

If you are planning an event of any sort I'd be more than happy to help you.